Parenting, unfortunately, does not come with a manual. Therefore, as parents, we rely on our own intuition, what we read about in magazines, books and television and what we have seen from our parents. Sometimes, our own parents’ style of parenting ends up being examples of what we do not want for our kids. Sometimes, we end up repeating the same mistakes they made.
Following are five common parenting mistakes that parents make, taken from the Business Connect Magazine and shared by recruitment hub LinkedIn.
Comparing your child with others
Many experts speak against comparing a child to others even if the those you are comparing them with are their own siblings. This is not something parent always do to shame the child, sometimes they do it to try and motivate them to act in a similar way to what they deem is the right thing. “Competitiveness in children is healthy and I encourage them to do good, but training them to be better than other children can be detrimental at times,” adds the hub.
Not having rules
As loving and open as we would like to be as parents, setting boundaries is an important part of parenting, especially when they are still young, shares the recruitment hub. Sticking to rules on thing such as routines, restrictions and limitations will help your child understand and anticipate the daily activities.
Not spending quality time with your children
Being a parent in this day and age might mean that you have to also work or juggle other life experiences. Even in our busy lives, it is important to understand that spending quality time with your kids does a lot for them and their self-esteem, experts add. It also boosts the bond between the two of you, allowing you to know their worries, likes, dislikes and frustrations, adds the hub.
When spending quality time with your child, you are able to assure them of their importance in your life by giving them your undivided attention. The Child Mind Institute suggests carving out at least 10 minutes a day to check in with your child. You can also use the time to bond through their favourite activity, adds the institute.
Talking more than listening
As parents, we sometimes talk more than we listen to our kids, something that may not work in our favour if we want to understand our kids better, adds the publication. Giving your child an ear and paying attention to them when communicating gives them assurance that you understand them. When your child approaches you with a problem, it might be better to ask them to elaborate on their problem and come up with a solution together instead of asking why and how, adds the publication.
Neglecting to change what doesn’t work
Not changing rules and routines that do not work for your child is problematic, as chances of them learning anything from you are slim, says pediatrician, Vincent Iannelli, MD of Very Well Family. The site doctor adds,”You may think that time-out is an effective form of discipline, but if you have to use it each day to correct the same problem or behaviour, then it is not effective for your child.” Changing what does not seem to work may help, alternatively, you can talk to a professional, adds the information hub.