I had always considered myself the black sheep of the family at home, (for various reasons, some of them will be mentioned here) until my autistic baby brother was born five years ago, and I realised that maybe I was not one as much as he was.
When we think of this concept, we imagine that one person in the family who always does their own thing, does not conform to the norms of the household, and is most likely to get in trouble with everyone.
According to the Resourceful Mother, black sheep are individuals who are different from their family members but don’t want to conform, they want to fit in but are not willing to conform. They face constant criticism, judgment, exclusion, and mistreatment. The above source continues to explain that these people often feel unloved and have incorrect beliefs about their worth.
Psychology Today explains that the black sheep psychologically and sometimes physically holds the emotional energy of the family, manifesting it in symptoms and behaviours that others can point to. This person can be seen as the family scapegoat, serving as a protective function for its larger dysfunctional patterning, continues the mentioned source.
“From an archetypal psychological perspective, the black sheep may most closely resemble the orphan archetype or that of the abandoned child. These archetypes are, in essence, recurring symbols or motifs that describe someone, or an aspect of someone, who doesn’t feel like they fit in with their family or community of origin, physically or spiritually, and perhaps because they do not seem to fit, the group’s “shadow” is projected onto them.”
In navigating life with your family as the black sheep, Prospect Therapy suggest that you be authentic and proud of yourself, as others may have different opinions. Listen to those who encourage and support you. It is stated that being the black sheep can be isolating, but it’s the experiences that ultimately lead to being unapologetically yourself, and that by embracing your family’s support and understanding, you can create a supportive environment that encourages you to grow and learn from your experiences.
Also see: How parents can deal with their kids moving out of the house
