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5 Ways to stop people-pleasing, and why you should do it ASAP

by Staff Bona
Picture: iStock / Jacob Wackerhausen

People-pleasing is a common tendency that many individuals develop, often with good intentions. However, when taken to an extreme, it can lead to stress, burnout and a loss of personal identity.

According to Psychology Today, some of the traits of people-pleasing may include low self-worth, the undermining of one’s own needs, going with the flow that’s dictated by others, saying ‘sorry’ even when no apology is required, as well as rarely saying ‘no’.

Recognising the importance of overcoming this habit is crucial for mental well-being and authentic living.

Also see: Healthy boundaries, healthy you: Importance of protecting your wellbeing

Here are five effective strategies to break free from people-pleasing and why acting quickly is essential.

1. Understand the root cause

Before making changes, it is vital to identify why you tend to please others. Is it fear of rejection, low self-esteem or a desire for acceptance?

Understanding the underlying motivations helps you address the core issues and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

2. Set clear boundaries

Learning to say ‘no’ is fundamental in overcoming people-pleasing. Start small by declining requests that don’t align with your values or capacity.

Clearly communicate your boundaries without guilt, reinforcing your right to prioritise your needs.

3. Prioritise self-care

Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish – it’s necessary. Dedicate time to activities that rejuvenate you physically, emotionally and mentally. When you value your well-being, it becomes easier to resist the urge to seek approval from others.

Picture: iStock / ariya.j

Also see: How to handle relatives with no boundaries

4. Practice assertiveness

Express your thoughts and feelings confidently and respectfully. Assertiveness allows you to communicate your needs without being aggressive. Role-playing scenarios or practicing in safe environments can build your confidence.

5. Seek support and professional help

Changing ingrained habits can be challenging. Consider seeking support from friends, family or a mental health professional.

Therapy can provide insights, tools and encouragement to foster healthier relationships with yourself and others.

Why you should act quickly

Procrastinating on overcoming people-pleasing can have detrimental effects. It may lead to increased stress, anxiety and resentment.

Over time, neglecting your needs can cause burnout and damage your self-esteem. The sooner you start, the faster you’ll reclaim your autonomy, build healthier relationships and live a more authentic life.

Ultimately, overcoming people-pleasing is a vital step toward self-empowerment and genuine happiness. Breaking free from the cycle can foster a more balanced, fulfilling life.

Also see: Learning how to say no

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