Photo of Jade Rhode

How to support your child without being a nuisance

Many parents strive to be in their child’s corner, quietly cheering them on from the sidelines. However, for others, being a ‘nuisance’ can creep in when support starts to feel more like pressure and constant interference. This may get in the way of children growing independently.

Fortunately, there are healthy ways to stay involved in your child’s life while respecting their boundaries.

Also see: Here are 5 parenting habits that drain your child’s joy

The information portal Grown and Flown states that parents’ nagging and constantly expressing disappointment about their child’s grades is less likely to help them feel inspired.

Support your child in these 4 ways

1. Let them know you understand what they’re going through

This may sound simple to some, but compare their school work to food. Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting podcast co-host Dr Damour explains, “Relating school subjects to food preferences neutralises a lot of shame and judgment.”

2. Be a strategy partner

When it comes to their schoolwork, ensure that you’re on the same team. For example, don’t ask if they’ve studied for that maths test. Instead, ask, “What will make things more bearable?”

You could also ask if you can keep your child company, but refrain from hovering over them.

Also see: Parenting styles that sabotage a child’s future

3. Help your child get in touch with their goals

While you should remind your child that their grades will matter in future, it is also essential for you to be on the same page about what their expectations are and ambitions.

4. Support other interests

If your child doesn’t engage with academics, help them find opportunities to pursue what appeals more to them.

Dr Damour says, “We want kids to have a sense of mastery and success, and not all kids will get that in school.”

Also see: Critical advice for parenting children during puberty

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