Taking care of your elderly parents is no small feat. But many people get lost in the role of caregiver and forget to take care of themselves. Learn why tending to self is important and in fact necessary – and how to do it.
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Not all people are privileged enough to put their elderly parents in an old-age facility. Some may not want to because of a sense of duty and cultural expectations. Taking care of elderly parents is a huge responsibility, but ultimately an act of love.
However, it can be physically and emotionally draining. It can also lead to resentment, which leads to further guilt. If you have taken on this immense role and find placing your needs at the bottom of the list, here’s why you should pause and fill your own cup first. Caring for yourself isn’t selfish. It is essential.
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Acknowledge all your emotions
Caring for your ageing parents can bring up a lot of emotions. Maybe you feel sad because you’re witnessing how they’re losing touch with the world, how they’re becoming less agile, less vibrant. It can be devastating. Maybe you feel grateful for them… but also frustrated sometimes. Feel all these feelings, sit with them without judgment. Talking to a therapist or a friend can help you work through them.
Set boundaries
Doing everything on your own can lead to burnout. It’s important to set gentle boundaries, such as asking a family member to help share responsibilities or limiting your availability. Be realistic and honest about what you can and cannot do. Don’t feel guilty about this; it’s about protecting your energy.
Hold on to who you are
You can get easily swept up in your tasks, and your identity becomes that of ‘caregiver’. But remember who you are outside of it – it is just one role. Try your best to keep a social life and practise your hobbies. If you maintain your sense of self, you can show up for others more fully.
Accept help
Many community initiatives offer support. If they do, take it. Do everything possible to ease your load. Accepting help is about being sustainable.
Prioritise your own health
Listen to your body. Sleeplessness, anxiety, and chronic fatigue are all signs you’re overloaded. Pay attention to these signs and go for your check-ups. Your health matters as much as your parents’.
The bottom line
By taking care of your own needs, you’re ensuring you can show up with strength and compassion. Yes, your parents took care of you your whole life, and you may be paying them back. You can, however, make sure they don’t get the best of you by making sure you’re healthy and happy.
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Compiled by Shaneen Noble
First published on Woman and Home
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