Has your recollection of events ever been questioned, yet you feel certain you’re in the right? Have you ever been called “too sensitive” or “crazy”? If so, you may be a victim of gaslighting. Gaslighting is commonly talked about in terms of intimate relationships. However, many individuals also experience gaslighting at work.
Gaslighting at work is when a fellow employee or boss manipulates you to the point that you question your own sanity, memory, or perceptions. The gaslighter can do this by denying past events, downplaying your emotions, or retelling events so that you take the blame.
Gaslighting is also a form of psychological abuse that can be more subtle than other types of emotional abuse, like bullying. It’s the opposite of feeling psychologically safe.
A gaslighting situation at work can cause you to dread each week. This can prevent you from enjoying your personal life and even push you to look for a new job. The worst part is, gaslighting by definition causes you to question your own experience, making it tough to seek help.
Here are 6 signs to look out for in a gaslighter who tries to gaslight you at work:
- You hear persistent negative accounts of your performance
- You hear the suspected gaslighter publicly say negative things about you
- You hear negative, untrue gossip about yourself
- You find yourself questioning your perception of reality at work
- The suspected gaslighter belittles your emotions, efforts, or perceptions
- You’re excluded from meetings or events relevant or required for your job
How to deal with gaslighting at work
If you suspect that someone at work is gaslighting you, here’s what to do about it.
- Confirm that it truly is gaslighting
- Document the gaslighter’s behavior
- Get support and focus on self-care
- Meet with your gaslighter
- If all else fails, escalate the issue
Lastly, if you believe any of the behaviour you are experiencing is sexual harassment or discrimination on the basis of race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or other protected category, please consult your company policies and report to human resources.
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