The 16 Days of Activism Against Women and Child Abuse is an international campaign that was started to help raise awareness and help women and children speak out against abuse. The 2014 theme is Count me in which hopes to gain more South Africans to join in to help build a non–violent South Africa going forward. Most women who are in abusive relationships don’t realise that their partners are abusive until they experience it. Abuse can be verbal, emotional, sexual, physical and sadly some people died because of it.
HERE ARE SOME OF THE SIGNS TO LOOK OUT FOR:
Possessive
Some women see it as love and attention but men who are possessive and controlling are more likely to become abusive in the relationship.
Jealousy and insecurity
Jealousy in a relationship is normal but a person needs to monitor their partner’s level of jealousy and insecurity. Do they accuse you of cheating or get jealous of the time you spend with friends? Do they react in a situation when they are jealous?
Threats
Violence is never justifiable no matter what the situation. If your partner threatens to be violent, pushes you or even throws things your way then they are abusive. Women tend to stay and blame the situation or themselves and realise when it’s too late that their partner is abusive. You don’t have to communicate with your partner’s exes but try find out his fight history and anger management skills.
Verbal abuse
Verbal abuse is one of the beginning stages of an abusive relationship. If your partner belittles you, calls your rude and inappropriate names that hurt your feelings then these are some of the major signs of abuse and you need to leave.
Patterns
An abusive person has a pattern and these are easier to spot at times. Look at the way he treats other family members, the way he talks about his parents and acts under the influence of alcohol.
How to get out
Abusive people don’t walk around with a board that states they are abusive and no woman plans to be in a relationship and realises this when it’s too late.
Recognise the signs
Denial is a strong force that can keep us in harmful situations. You may feel that your partner is an overbearing person but not abusive. Until you admit the behaviour as abusive, you won’t be motivated to take action and leave the relationship.
Separate yourself
You need to regain some of your power before preparing to leave your partner. Don’t announce it to them that you are leaving him before you actually do it as this might trigger fights and they might try make you stay.
Save money
One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is the financial support and fear of not being able to cope with it. It may seem difficult to leave but it’s not impossible. Cut down on luxury expenses and things that aren’t needed to help secure your own finances.
Get Help
A lot of women stay in abusive relationships because they are too embarrassed to tell their friends and family about what they are going through because at times their partners are the perfect guy in public so fear no one will believe them. If you struggle to confide in family and friends then visit sites and shelters that can assist you and will listen to your story.
Things we can do
- Wearing a white ribbon will show your support and draw attention to the campaign during the period. The ribbon shows that you don’t condone violence against women or children.
- Family and friends are encouraged to stick together and communicate as this will help make it easier for a victim to disclose any experience.
- Parent and adults can try by all means to help make sure that children are not exposed to any inappropriate sexual and violent material.
- Men need to stand firm and protect their families against women and children abuse. They are also encouraged to open up and fight against abuse.
Source: http://www.loveisrespect.org
