Many times, we prefer comfort and avoid effort, but at the cost of our growth. Learn how to override the impulse to ‘stay safe’ by purposely doing hard things that challenge your capabilities. Attempting difficult tasks is not only good for our brains, it improves confidence and overall well-being.
We don’t avoid hard things because we’re incapable or lazy. We avoid them because our brains are wired for self-preservation. Effort and discomfort are interpreted as threats, which steers us towards what feels safe and familiar – and easy. But the paradox is this: the very things that feel ‘too hard’ and uncomfortable are often the ones that help us grow.
In a world of convenience – instant gratification, constant stimulation and shortcuts – we have arguably lost the ability to endure. Why walk when you can drive? Why read a lengthy novel when you can listen to an audiobook? While modern comforts have their place, there is a cost to always choosing the easier option.
Purposely doing hard things is about gently retraining your brain, and your sense of self, to remember what you’re capable of.
You experience real accomplishment
You learn to adapt and problem-solve. The sense of accomplishment that follows is more than a dopamine hit; it lingers. That feeling seeps into other areas of your life, and makes future challenges feel more doable. It becomes proof that you can handle the next thing.
You build self-trust
Every time you show up for yourself, the message your brain receives is: ‘I can rely on myself.’ Over time, it builds confidence. Not the performative kind, but the kind that’s rooted in real life experience.
You start to see yourself in a new light
There’s a lovely shift that happens, besides building skills. It reshapes your identity. All of a sudden you’re not someone who hesitates anymore or opts out, but someone who follows through. That shift is truly transformative.
You loosen the grip of failure
The fear of failure – and also the fear of others seeing us fail – is debilitating. When you do hard things, failure loses its power. Even without guarantee of success, fear begins to shrink because the focus is on the learning rather than the outcome. You realise that not trying is worse than failing.
How to start, without being overwhelmed
- Start small: Start with 10 minutes in the gym, or one conversation – just make an honest attempt.
- Write it down: Journal or make lists to reduce mental clutter.
- Look for inspiration: Spend time with people who embody what you aspire to be.
- Reward progress: Treat yourself to something nice once you complete a task.
The Bottom Line
Hard things are hard! But so is staying stuck or unfulfilled. When you challenge yourself, you practise powerful self-respect, and you rediscover how capable you really are. Remember, you are your biggest project.
First published by Woman & Home
Compiled by Shaneen Noble
Also see: Do you like doing everything by yourself? Understanding hyper independence
