Do you always feel the need to over-explain and justify yourself when you do something because you fear being judged? That is called worthsplaining.
You could be explaining yourself to someone or even to yourself because you feel your actions must be justified. Online mental health and wellbeing magazine, Happiful states that as much as this behaviour might be habitual it has a negative impact on your mental health.
How is mental health affected?
“The fear of judgement driving worthsplaining can be due to low self-esteem and self-worth. It can also be a sign that we’re seeking external validation for our actions, that it’s OK for us to make these choices for ourselves,” states Happiful. The magazine further explains that we undermine our true selves when we live in constant worry about what other people will think of us and turn to outside validation. This affects how we view ourselves, our self-worth, and, eventually, our happiness.
The news and opinion publication, HuffPost details other impacts of worthsplaining on your well-being;
Unnecessary guilt: An example is that you’re worried about paying bills and you want to maintain a healthy financial life, but then you decide to buy yourself a nice pair of jeans as a treat, and you then feel guilty about it. When someone asks about your new jeans you go through great lights to justify why you bought them and ease your guilt. Life coach, Kate MacGowan shares with HuffPost that when you start to explain your choices, you express your uncertainty and doubt in your judgment and by doing this, you exaggerate a minor issue and may even feel guilty about it. kate then encourages that we simply accept and embrace our decisions. “Remind yourself that your actions require no justification. Getting into this habit of positive self-talk and self-examination will help you to reframe your thoughts and escape the desire to ‘worthsplain’ your choices.”
Having wrong motivations: The publication above also mentions the issue of worthsplaining often leads to people doing things they don’t want to do just because it feels socially acceptable. This insecurity may be the root cause of the decision. To avoid this, “Get into the habit of checking in with yourself, and seeing what your real motivation is. It’s okay to be a little selfish, make sure your actions are serving you.”
How to stop this habit?
The following tips were suggested by Happiful;
- Develop your sense of self-trust
- Be firm on your choices
- Establish limits on what you accept as an external opinion.
- Examine and embrace your motivations
Also see: How to make the most of your leave to focus on your mental health
