When Sarah Biggers-Stewart, a new mom, posted about her painful postpartum recovery last year, a viewer’s comment cut through the noise: “Where’s the girl with the list?”
That “list” is now TikTok folklore, a running tally of more than 350 reasons not to have children, better known simply as the pregnancy list. And whether you find it terrifying or refreshing, it’s hard to ignore how much it has reshaped conversations about motherhood.
@z00mie Replying to @Celeste.merriman who knew MORNING SICKNESS could be THAT BAD 🥲🫣OG VID HERE: @Ellaina<3 reason #282 not to have kids girl with the list lady with the list zoomie #girlwiththelist #childfree #babyfevercure #babyfever #nokidsnoproblems ♬ Quirky Suspenseful Indie-Comedy(1115050) – Kenji Ueda
From a Joke to a Movement
The list began with TikTok creator Yuni (@yuniquethoughts), who casually started jotting down “reasons not to have kids” in her Apple Notes back in 2021. At first, it was tongue-in-cheek. But as more creators shared jaw-dropping pregnancy stories, Yuni stitched their videos and kept adding to her list.
What started as a gag soon morphed into a raw, collective diary of pregnancy and childbirth experiences that rarely make it into antenatal classes.
The entries range from the expected, nausea, hair loss, tearing during birth to the shocking: teeth falling out, bones separating, nipples detaching, even obstetric fistula, a childbirth injury that leaves women incontinent.
One viral clip summed it up in blunt terms: “Reason number one why I will not be having children is they literally tear through your vagina. Tear!!”
@chantellepetit Hey girl with the list! *Trigger warning* contains details about injuries sustained during childbirth. I normally shy away from talking about my experience mainly because I don’t want that to be my identity. But today I woke up feeling like I need to share on tiktok because there needs to be more awareness on Obstetric Fistula. It can happen to anyone and I want those who have been through it to know that you’re not alone ❤️❤️❤️ #fyp #girlwiththelist ♬ original sound – Chantelle Petit
The Darker Side of Pregnancy
Behind the humor lies an unsettling truth: pregnancy is still a risky, life-altering medical event.
According to the World Health Organization, more than 800 women die every day from preventable pregnancy-related complications. Even in developed countries, maternal health statistics are sobering. The U.S. records about 17.4 deaths per 100,000 births, one of the highest rates among wealthy nations.
And it’s not just numbers. Stories like TikToker Chantelle Petit’s put a human face to the risks. After a difficult birth, she developed a rectovaginal fistula, a hole between her rectum and vagina. “I had to do four surgeries to fix it,” she shared. “It was the most excruciating pain of my life.”
Experts warn that such complications don’t only affect women who are “unhealthy.” Dr. Shannon Clark, an OB-GYN, stresses that they can happen to anyone: “Pregnancy is unpredictable, even if you do everything right.”
What the List Really Exposes
The pregnancy list’s impact lies in its brutal honesty. It catalogs things many doctors gloss over: ribs cracked by kicking babies, morning sickness so violent it bursts blood vessels, bald patches from postpartum hair loss.
It also dives into mental health, with postpartum depression affecting 1 in 7 mothers, yet still buried under stigma.
While critics dismiss the list as fearmongering, supporters argue it’s about informed choice. One TikTok user asked pointedly: “Why do we get a risks sheet for every medical procedure, but not for pregnancy?”
@z00mie Turns out being a cat lady LITERALLY prevents cancer. Reason #314 I’m not having kids: choriocarcinoma, a type of cancer that can develop in early stages of pregnancy 😳 #girlwiththelist #childfree #babyfevercure #takeyourbirthcontrol #dink #childfreebychoice #catlady ♬ Quirky Suspenseful Indie-Comedy(1115050) – Kenji Ueda
A Cultural Shift Around Motherhood
South African, British, and American moms alike have embraced the list, often tagging friends with comments like “Read this before you think of baby number two!” Others, meanwhile, say it’s helped them feel validated in choosing not to have kids.
And that’s the point: the list doesn’t exist to terrify every potential parent. It exists to widen the conversation.
At a time when reproductive rights are fiercely debated worldwide, this grassroots trend has done something medical pamphlets rarely achieve, it’s stripped away the glossy Instagram filter around motherhood.
The TikTok pregnancy list is raw, messy, sometimes funny, sometimes horrifying. But more than anything, it’s honest.
For some women, it strengthens their resolve to have children anyway. For others, it’s a liberating reminder that saying “no thanks” is just as valid.
Either way, the “girl with the list” has done something remarkable: she’s turned whispers about the dangers of pregnancy into a global conversation, one Apple Note at a time.
Whether you love it or hate it, the pregnancy list shows what happens when women stop sugarcoating motherhood and start telling the truth.
{Source: IOL}
Featured Image: Pixels
