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Threatening to leave? Here’s why it’s a guaranteed relationship killer

by Akhona Ndlela
PICTURE: PEXELS/ RELATIONSHIPS

Threats, particularly when they include leaving, may easily turn into one of the most toxic behaviours in a relationship.

Although it could appear to be a means of maintaining control during arguments, in reality, this strategy sows doubt and unease. Threatening to leave your significant other creates the impression that the connection can be broken any time. It gradually weakens emotional closeness, making both spouses feel uneasy rather than secure.

Roots Relational Therapy states that are three primary motivations for making repeated threats to terminate a relationship are cowardice, immaturity, and manipulation. Controlling the power dynamic by diverting attention from the fundamental problems—such as evading responsibility by posing as a victim—is known as manipulation.

A background of trauma or an immature personality that is unable to handle the responsibilities of a relationship are just two examples of how immaturity might show up. Without having to be the villain, cowardice is bringing up the possibility of ending the relationship in the hopes that the other person will agree and carry it out, the above source further mentions.

A Conscious Rethink, ”Emotions can get out of hand in an argument, and some people try to take back control by doing something extreme to end the conversation or be taken more seriously—in this case, threatening to break up with you.”

It might be wise to reconsider your conflict resolution strategy if you find yourself using the “I’ll leave” card all the time. Understanding and a dedication to overcoming obstacles together, without emotionally holding each other captive, are the foundations of a solid, long-lasting relationship.

Practice open communication rather than giving out ultimatums. Don’t let the fear of separation keep you from expressing your emotions, disappointments, and desires. Mutual respect, compromise, and the conviction that both partners are committed to the long term are the foundation of healthy relationships.

Also see: Dinner is ready! Smart cooking hacks for busy parents

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