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Signs you’re ruminating about your ex

by Kaylum Keet
PICTURE: PEXELS
Breakups can be emotionally challenging, leaving us grappling with a mix of feelings. It’s natural to reminisce about past relationships, but when thoughts of your ex dominate your mind incessantly, you might be caught in the trap of rumination. Ruminating about your ex can hinder your healing process and impede personal growth. Here are some telltale signs that you’re stuck in the cycle of rumination:

Constant Thoughts:

If your ex occupies your thoughts throughout the day, even when you try to focus on other activities, it’s a clear sign of rumination. Dwelling on memories and what-ifs may prevent you from moving forward.

Overanalysing the Past:

Replaying past conversations or dissecting every detail of your relationship indicates rumination. While reflection can be helpful, excessive overthinking keeps you tethered to the past.

Idealising the Relationship:

Viewing your past relationship through rose-tinted glasses is another red flag. Focusing solely on the positive aspects and downplaying the negatives can hinder acceptance and closure.

Social Media Stalking:

Constantly checking your ex’s social media profiles is a common rumination behaviour, according to CNBC. Monitoring their life can keep you emotionally attached and prevent you from letting go.

Comparing New Relationships:

Continually comparing potential partners to your ex might signal that you haven’t moved on yet. Such comparisons can sabotage new connections and hinder genuine emotional investment.

Seeking Closure:

If you find yourself longing for closure, despite having had multiple discussions with your ex, it’s a sign that you’re stuck in rumination. Closure often comes from within, not from external sources.

Avoiding Certain Places:

Avoiding places you frequented with your ex to prevent triggering memories indicates unresolved feelings.

Decline in Self-Care:

Neglecting self-care and personal growth due to preoccupation with your past relationship is a crucial sign of rumination.
Breaking free from the cycle of rumination requires conscious effort and self-compassion. Engaging in new hobbies, seeking support from friends and family, and seeking professional help if necessary, can aid in the healing process. Remember, healing takes time, and it’s essential to be patient with yourself as you move forward.
Also see: How to nurture secure attachment in a relationship

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