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Red flags: Signs you are dating an abuser

by Johana Mukandila
Picture: Pexels

Emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and domestic violence are on the rise and the risk of falling into an abusive relationship is greater than ever.

Many abusive relationships start off as a fairy tale. Abusers may be romantic and charming even as they begin to subtly build power and control over their victims. They will test boundaries gradually to see what they can get away with over time. However, there are early warning signs to watch out for. You may be becoming or already are a victim of abuse if you see any of the following red flags in your new relationship.

According to Palomar, here are the sign to look out for:

They want you to be all-in right away

  • Wanting you to move in before you’re ready
  • Talking about getting married or having children early on

They don’t respect your boundaries, opinions, needs, or decisions

  • Touching you without your consent
  • Making fun of your ideas
  • Minimising your needs
  • Insisting on having things their way

They are overly jealous

  • Glaring at others who look at you in public
  • Calling or texting several times a day to check in
  • Accusing you of flirting or cheating

They don’t respect women

  • Posting demeaning pictures, jokes, or language about women
  • Using misogynistic language when talking about their exes (bitch, crazy, etc.)

They’re overly concerned with what you do and where you go

  • Insisting that you share your phone’s location with them
  • Checking your browser history or call log
  • Questioning you when you return late

 

If you find yourself in an abustive relatipnship it important to call for help or ask for help by dealing the emergency Line number – 0800 428 428. This is supported by a USSD, “please call me” facility: *120*7867#. A Skype Line ‘Helpme GBV’ for members of the deaf community also exists. (Add ‘Helpme GBV’ to your Skype contacts). An SMS Based Line 31531 for persons with disabilities (SMS ‘help’ to 31531) also exists. The Centre is able to refer calls directly to SAPS (10111) and field Social Workers who respond to victims of GBV.

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