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Reasons to not include children in family drama

by Ncumisa Lerato Kunana

Family conflict arises in everyone’s life occasionally. Maybe our parents don’t agree with the decision we made, or maybe they had a fallout with their siblings which is now affecting the whole family.

Perhaps it could be something more serious, like a problem with drugs or alcohol, a divorce, or the disapproval of some aspects of our identity by our family. Furthermore, family drama is frequently exacerbated by inherent power imbalances, such as those between parents and children, parents and parents, and older children and younger children, as well as imbalances brought on by financial dependency or cultural norms.

According to Psychology Today, involving children in family drama can put them under unnecessary stress because most of the time, they have nothing to do with the drama and being dragged into it puts them in an uncomfortable position. It also becomes extremely difficult explaining to children that aunty Zamo and mommy are now talking again and they also have to play along.

Children’s mental health may be impacted by growing up in a family that is full of drama, dysfunction, or unsolved concerns. Family problems can affect self-esteem and the ability to have other healthy connections later in life.

Psychology Today notes that children’s emotional well-being is greatly influenced by how adults manage their thoughts and emotions within families. Being close to our family members fosters a sense of safety, attachment, and connection. Negative family connections and dynamics can also make us feel distant from those we try to get close to, insecure, and broken with attachment issues.

Also see: The importance of exercising during pregnancy

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