Have you ever heard of the term “ultimatum” or has your partner ever issued an ultimatum or vice versa? An ultimatum is a demand that, if not met, will result in one side ending the relationship permanently.
Basically, giving an ultimatum could be a strategy to force the problem to a head if you and your partner are at a crossroads in your relationship and have divergent aims and desires that are not being worked through or adequately handled. However, that does not imply that it is a good or even a successful option.
Andrea Dindinger, LMFT, a marriage and family therapist, said to Very Well Mind that ultimatums are never a good idea. But, she adds that “people make ultimatums when they feel powerless to change the other person.”
Ultimatums can consists of the following:
- Granting your spouse until the end of the month to make a decision regarding the use of labels in your partnership/ relationship
- Threatening to leave if you don’t get a marriage proposal before the end of the year
- Requesting that your partner shut you off from someone you don’t want to be around
Rachel Ramezani from dating app Badoo told Cosmopolitan that “giving someone an ultimatum can be a dangerous thing to do, particularly if the options are either get married, or break up. It’s not abnormal for two people to simply have different ideals as to when they want to progress their relationship to the next step. Plus, not wanting to marry someone doesn’t signify a lack of feelings, or that they wouldn’t want to get married in the future but can simply be a matter of timing or personal preference.”
It may be difficult to comprehend how using ultimatums may be beneficial when all the drawbacks are so obvious. However, an ultimatum might be required in specific circumstances, according to Very Well Mind.
The behaviour of your partner is negative or potentially dangerous such as:
- Drug use
- Gambling
- Alcoholism
- Fraud
The connection between you and your partner may suffer greatly as a result of these habits. In extreme circumstances, addiction can be lethal. So, in certain situations, ultimatums can be required.
Therefore giving your partner an ultimatum should only be done in extreme cases and with sensitivity.
