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How to know when friendships are one-sided

by Sergio Miller

Friendships play an important part in how we develop from children to adults. Not only does it create a sense of community, but it also contributes to discovering one’s true identity in relation to those around you.

This re-enforces Ubuntu which highlights the idea, “I am, because you are.”

In addition to this, having a good group of friends often brings out the best in us, challenging us to take risks, overcome life’s obstacles and become a better version of ourselves and the amount of effort put into fostering these friendships are often mutual.

On the contrary, the outcomes received from one-sided friendships are the complete opposite. This results in you feeling drained, demotivated, and giving more of yourself with nothing in return.

In addition to this, health and wellness publication Healthline explains that there is also an emotional attachment to it and can often leave you feeling confused and hurt. “You demonstrate an interest in their wellbeing, but they show little interest in you and your needs unless you make an effort to draw them out.”

Mental wellness publication, Psychology Today explains that while we often blame the person for not showing interest, their lack of interest is usually associated with the way they grew up. Some grew up in homes where communication is the key to solving problems, while others may have been in an environment where those opinions are suppressed. However, it is something that needs to be exercised and can improve with time as long as that person shows an eagerness to improve.

Meanwhile, Medium has highlighted the following signs that show that friendships or relationships are one-sided:

  • They control all aspects of the relationship and are only available when it’s convenient for them.
  • They emotionally dump on you and you feel overly involved in all details of their life.
  • They regularly cancel on you.
  • It includes no equal give and take.
  • You feel drained after spending time with them.

Psychology Today explains that it is important to stress the importance of these factors and give your friendship a deadline, if nothing has improved you may end it.

Also see: Ways to navigate an interracial relationship

 

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