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How to handle family tension without losing your cool

by Akhona Ndlela

Family relationships can be… complex. Tension can arise even in the most loving homes due to unresolved issues, conflicting personalities, or unhealed past hurts.

I have a big family, which includes different people with different personalities, and I don’t expect us to get along every time, nor be perfect. Our imperfections are what make us who we are.

So, I understand that navigating family tension requires more than just patience, whether it’s a passive-aggressive remark when eating supper together, a sibling argument that keeps coming up like clockwork, or feeling caught up in other people’s drama.

The good news is that you don’t have to isolate yourself from others or make every argument into a discussion to maintain peace.

Here are some strategies to maintain your composure when tension starts to build:

According to Helpguide.org, “Difficult family relationships can take on many forms. You might have an overly critical dad who makes you feel anxious. Perhaps a sibling’s jealousy is a constant source of tension at family functions. Or maybe you believe a new in-law’s controlling behaviour leads to unnecessary drama.”

The above website suggests establishing clear boundaries, developing emotional intelligence (EQ), and shifting your focus to deal with challenging family members, especially during get-togethers. Use stress-reduction strategies like writing, walking, meditation, or physical activity. Set limits to keep conversation subjects under control and guard against toxic relationships.

Michigan State University claims, “By recognising signs early, engaging in relaxing activities regularly, practising mindfulness, prioritising sleep, accepting emotions, supporting each other, focusing on what you can control, and building a support network, you can foster resilience and strengthen family bonds during challenging times. These steps empower you to navigate stressors more effectively, promoting overall well-being and harmony within your family.”

Also see: The disheartening rise in South African infant mortality rate

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