It is often a parent’s wish for their kids to grow up and be independent individuals who are capable of standing up for themselves. However, when the reality of it comes, some parents tend to feel as if they are being abandoned by their kids.
When it comes to it and your children start showing signs of independence to the point of moving out of the house, if you happen to feel a sense of abandonment and grief, as a parent you might have what experts call the empty nest syndrome.
The Better Health Channel explains this as grief experienced by parents when their children leave home, often unrecognised due to it not being out of the ordinary. “This condition is typically more common in women, who are more likely to have had the role of primary carer. Unlike the grief experienced when (for example) a loved one dies, the grief of empty nest syndrome often goes unrecognised, because an adult child moving out of home is seen as a normal, healthy event.”
According to Very Well Mind, how this “nonclinical” condition is noticed is that the parent experiences the following symptoms:
- Feelings of loneliness, sadness and reminiscing.
- The loss of identity and purpose since you are now not performing your normal duties of taking care of your child and being involved in their everyday life.
- Difficulty in focusing and constantly thinking about the children, leading to restlessness and irritability.
Tips to deal with the empty nest syndrome
Acknowledge your feelings: The Awareness Centre states that you allow yourself time to grieve and embrace your feelings, especially in the early stages of your children’s transition. It is further mentioned that you acknowledge your emotions and consider seeking counselling if you feel struggling and remember that grieving is a loss, not a fight.
Create social connections: Better Up advises that you get in touch with old friends and rekindle your relationship with them. ‘Try to enter a new social space that offers new connections. Investing in friendships is a healthy distraction, and it alleviates feelings of loneliness.”
Establish a new hobby: The above source also suggests that you explore your identity and interests by trying new activities, such as yoga or book clubs, to broaden social circles and maintain physical health. It is also mentioned that changing careers can boost self-confidence and embody an empowered side of yourself.
Also see: Tips to sustain a healthy mother-daughter relationship
