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Are you always pouring yourself out? Here’s how to let others help you

by Qaqamba Falithenjwa
Hands reaching to each other: picture: pexels

Are you the person who’s always giving, always there for others, but rarely lets anyone be there for you? It’s easy to fall into the habit of constantly pouring yourself out, whether it’s for friends, family, or work. But over time, it can leave you feeling drained and burnt out.

You might be unable to ask for help because you fear what people would say about you, you fear that they wouldn’t want to help you. Maybe you’re so used to doing stuff for yourself that you don’t know how to ask for help or how to receive it.

Here’s the thing: you don’t have to carry it all on your own. Learning to let others help you is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Psychotherapist Susan Solomon states by understanding and believing in ourselves, we can be more open to receiving help and appreciate the extra hand.

According to Psychology Today, to challenge discomfort around accepting help, we must abandon our adaptations that felt necessary for survival and part with our negative identity of seeing ourselves as needy or a burden. It is mentioned that by assigning value to the act of receiving help, we can break down barriers and be aware of negative thoughts that minimise or deny us.

“Despite any initial discomfort around letting people help us, it can feel rewarding. The vulnerability of being open to accepting help and generosity tends to bring out a caring response in others and often leads to deeper emotional closeness.”

The Navel Gazing publication states that receiving help from others leads to stronger relationships, as rejection can make them feel devalued and take a toll on the relationship. By allowing others to show up in your life and appreciate their help, they feel valued and worthy, forming stronger bonds with you through shared experiences, the mentioned source adds.

 

Also see: How rejection therapy helps with social anxiety

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