Psychologists have identified four different ‘attachment styles’, which stem from early experiences with our parents (or caregivers) that influence our connections throughout life. By recognising and understanding your attachment style, you may gain a deeper understanding of your relationships and even improve the way you connect with others!
Here are the 4 attachment styles identified by psychologists. Which one fits you best?
Secure attachment style
Individuals with a secure attachment style typically feel comfortable with intimacy and autonomy.
They are capable of forming healthy, balanced relationships. This style often develops in childhood when caregivers consistently meet a child’s needs, providing both comfort and support. As adults, those with a secure attachment style tend to have trusting, long-lasting relationships, and they can navigate conflicts with greater ease.
Anxious-preoccupied attachment style
People with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style often crave closeness and worry about their partner’s availability and commitment.
These tendencies might stem from inconsistent caregiving during childhood, leading to a fear of abandonment or a constant need for reassurance. Individuals with this style may be overly sensitive to changes in relationships and often seek high levels of intimacy, sometimes becoming overly dependent on their partner’s presence and validation.
Dismissive-avoidant attachment style
Individuals with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style tend to prioritise independence and may struggle with emotional intimacy.
This style can develop when parents or caregivers are emotionally unavailable or dismissive of a child’s needs, leading the child to learn self-reliance and suppress emotions. Adults with this style may have difficulties expressing emotions and maintaining close relationships, often preferring solitude and independence over deep emotional connections.
Fearful-avoidant attachment style
Also dubbed as disorganised attachment, this style combines traits of both anxious-preoccupied and dismissive-avoidant styles.
Individuals with a fearful-avoidant attachment style desire close relationships but are simultaneously afraid of intimacy and vulnerability. This contradictory stance often originates from traumatic or inconsistent caregiving experiences in childhood, causing confusion and inner turmoil when it comes to forming relationships in adulthood.
Understanding your attachment style doesn’t mean you’re limited to one category. Many people display a combination of traits from different styles, and attachment styles can evolve over time with self-awareness and effort. Recognising your attachment style is the first step towards cultivating healthier relationships!
Compiled by Savanna Douglas
Also see: How to maintain an emotional connection through conversation
