How to parent from afar

Today’s lifestyle often means that a parent – especially a mom – is required to work away from home to either keep a job or earn a decent salary to afford her family a better way of life. Long-distance parenting is challenging and stretches child-raising skills to a whole new level; with the away parent working harder to keep their relationship with their young children alive and well. But it is possible to have a healthy, rewarding and meaningful relationship with a child even when you’re far away. Here’s a look at some of the challenges and how to handle them:

RESPECT

Your child needs to understand that a caregiver − be it an auntie or gogo − takes care of them on your behalf, so they must respect them as if they were you. The caregiver must be an extension of you, but shouldn’t try to be better than you.

Tip: Have regular chats with the caregiver about any issues or concerns you might have.

DISCIPLINE

Long-distance parenting can make you feel as if you are losing control of your everyday duties as a parent. But your child needs to understand that distance doesn’t change the rules at home.

Tip: Don’t feel guilty about reprimanding your child. You are working away from home to benefit the family – it’s part of life.

KEEP TALKING

Communicating is one of the easiest ways of keeping in contact with your children and staying involved in what is happening in their lives on a daily basis. Make sure that when you talk to them you stay upbeat, enthusiastic and positive.

Tip: Always end conversations with your own personal “sign-out” message like, “I love you; miss you lots!”

PLAN AHEAD

Separation hurts and is not normal in a family, so your little ones will need to know when they will see you again. Knowing this, will help them deal with the separation. For a young child, the time between one visit and the next can feel much longer than it actually is.

Tip: Plan a schedule of your visits in advance so that everyone knows what to expect.

TURN ON THE TECH

Technology can make long-distance parenting easier. A quick SMS can mean a lot to a child just before an important event. Also, the social media is great for keeping the love alive with photos, videos and sound clips.

Tip: Get into the habit of sending a “hello” and “goodnight” SMS at the start and end of each day.

QUALITY TIME

When you’re at home with your children, make this time together memorable. Besides family time, children cherish time alone with a parent they haven’t seen in a while; so plan some one-on-one time to do things together.

Tip: Your time together can be limited, so plan a family outing to the beach for example, where everyone can get involved.