Dating when you have kids is a different ball game altogether. We take a look at the right time for you kids to meet your new man.
By Zukiswa Dlamini
Relationship counsellor Mpumi Khaza says finding new love when you have children has it’s challenges because having children changes everything. Before you had children, you could stay out all night but when you have kids it’s a different story.
1. The kids come first. There are many reasons why your romantic involvements need to be kept away from your kids. The only time that you should introduce your new partner to your children is when you both agree that you are a solid couple.
2. Do not introduce them to every new man in your life. The danger of doing this is that they will have a long list of ‘uncles’ that come in and out of their lives, which is not healthy. Most children take a long time to get over their parents’ divorce. If the parents are not divorced but mom is single, a new partner can appear to be a threat.
SEE ALSO: Dealing with being pregnant as a single woman
3. Don’t wait until you’re engaged. You need to know how the person you will marry will be with your kids, it’s almost like a group decision. So, don’t force a man onto your kids right at the end, it’s a delicate balance.
4. Don’t change your routine. This is the first mistake most mother’s make which can make your children feel insecure. It’s understandable that you want to spend time with your new lover, but sufficient plans need to be made to cater for your children’s happiness. Leaving the kids with the nanny for a few nights for an exciting sleepover is not okay. Even though it might seem unfair to you.
SEE ALSO: Your Relationship & Social Media
5. The big reveal. When you’re ready to introduce your new boyfriend, it’s important to ease your kids into the relationship. The best place to have the big introduction is in a public place so that your kids don’t feel like your new man is taking over their home space. If your man also has kids, make the introduction a group activity.
