Nearly one in seven young adults in a committed relationship regularly chats with an AI romantic companion, according to a 2026 study of more than 2,400 adults from the Wheatley Institute and the Institute for Family Studies.
Also see: Does dirty talk and sexting really enhance your sex life?
Lisa Finn, sex expert at Babeland, breaks down three ways AI sexting can affect desire, dependency, and the way partners feel about each other.
1. AI can reset what you expect from a real partner
AI is built to be endlessly available, endlessly affirming, and never in a bad mood. A human partner with their own needs and off days can start to feel like they fall short of a comparison that was never fair to begin with. In Match’s 2025 Singles in America study, 36% of people said they experienced more sexual pleasure with AI than with a human partner.
Lisa says…
“AI may feel like a low-pressure way to explore fantasy, especially considering how accessible it is to use privately. However, the part worth watching is how it can reset your expectations without you noticing.
“A companion designed to always say yes and always affirm you is not a fair benchmark for a real person, because real intimacy comes with a partner who has their own moods, needs, and limits that need to be both recognised and respected. For some, this almost unrestricted experience may even make human connection start to feel like too much effort.
“What we need to remember is that these are unrealistic standards when it comes to interpersonal relationships. We cannot and should not compare real human interaction to an artificial one designed to be effortless and self-contained for your validation alone.”
2. AI companionship can become a real addiction
These apps are engineered to keep you coming back, and for some people that tips from a comforting habit into something that looks a lot like addiction. A joint study by OpenAI and MIT Media Lab found that heavier use of AI for emotional support was linked to higher loneliness, greater dependence, and lower socialisation.
Lisa says…
“When something hands you instant validation on demand, your brain’s reward system learns to want it again and again, the same way it does with other habits that are hard to put down. For some people, it stays on a surface level of only occasional use, and only to a certain extent.
“For others, it builds into a genuine dependency, where the pull to check in stops feeling like a choice and starts taking priority over our well-being, spending hours on AI chat and neglecting needs like sleep, work, and even the human relationships right in front of them.
“A more honest question to ask yourself is not whether you use AI at all, but whether you could comfortably step away from it. If that thought makes you uneasy, it is worth listening to.”
Also see: The dangers of sexting: What you should know before hitting send
3. Finding out a partner turns to AI can hurt more than people expect
For the person on the other side, learning that a partner is sexting or confiding in AI can land as a real betrayal, even when no other human is involved.
In the 2025 State of Us survey from the Kinsey Institute, 61% of singles said sexting or falling for an AI crosses the line, and 32% called sexting with an AI cheating outright. A lot of the sting comes from the secrecy, since another study found that 69% of people in AI romances hid the extent of it from their partner.
Lisa says…
“Being the one who discovers this can bring up a very specific kind of hurt. For many, it goes beyond “are they cheating,” and more into “am I not enough,” a question that can truly damage someone’s sense of self-worth.
“It helps to remember that a partner reaching for something built to be endlessly affirming usually says more about that pull than about anything lacking in you. This is just another example of why it’s so important to know what one another’s boundaries are.
“Some are completely okay with AI “play,” k eeping it in a fantasy world and not something that happens in real life, but some are not okay with it at all, for whatever reasons they may have, whether it’s with the content of the AI use or AI use in and of itself (moral, environmental, and/or political reasoning is valid to not want a partner who uses it).
“Communicating expectations is essential in any healthy relationship, and so setting those boundaries together before they could even get crossed can help make sure everyone is on the same page.”
Also see: South Africa’s sex work decriminalisation bill set to return to Parliament
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