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Rebuilding confidence and reclaiming identity after divorce

by Chumasande Matiwane
South African divorce attorney, empathetic lawyer, family law with compassion, attorney studying psychology, clients healing after divorce, Bona Magazine

Divorce can be one of life’s most challenging transitions, often leaving individuals feeling lost, vulnerable, and questioning their self-worth.

However, it also presents an opportunity for renewal, self-discovery, and growth. Rebuilding confidence and reclaiming your identity after divorce is a vital process that can lead to a more empowered and authentic you.

The healing journey can ultimately be your new start process to a new you. When healing, you are releasing old burdens and achieving a sense of freedom and lightness.

Also see: 5 Romantic shows to watch on Valentine’s Day 

According to IOL, Kirsten Harrison, an HPCSA-registered counsellor, explains this as “a phenomenon, often dubbed ‘the divorce effect’, has become a cultural talking point.

“When someone exits a relationship that required them to suppress parts of themselves, there’s often a gradual return to authenticity. This can lead to increased confidence, clarity, and energy. But it’s important to note that transformation is rarely linear or effortless.”

Undoubtedly, the divorce process can be overwhelming, especially watching someone go through the struggles of divorce. There may be weight loss, anxiety and loss of interest in things. Even though there is a huge chance to glow up, the uncertainty makes it hard for people to move to the “glow-up stage.

Also see: Romantic day trips across South Africa that feel like you have truly gone away 

It is essential to understand that divorce isn’t just about ending a marriage; it comes with all the grief, which is also part of the process. One needs to lean into these feelings and not be quick to move on.

Use these emotions to amp up your glow-up process. The healing journey won’t be linear and will come with cycles of sadness, anger, and all of which are normal. For many women, divorce represents a reclamation of autonomy.

Registered counsellor Kirsten Harrison notes, “Confidence often comes from the simple act of doing, whether that’s pursuing a new career, travelling solo, or reconnecting with hobbies that were sidelined during the marriage.”

Also see: Supreme Court to Review Black Coffee and Enhle’s Divorce Case Details

Feature Image: Gettys

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