Dating in the digital age – how social media is affecting relationships

by Nomonde Simelane

Evolution has always been a significant part of human nature, as we have seen various aspects of human life evolve from one thing to another. Love and relationship dynamics look nothing like they did in previous societies, but what role does this digital age play?

Love, dating, and marriage have always been a significant part of the human experience, and this is true for all parts of the world. Whether it is true love or arranged for other benefits, relationships have existed as part of culture for a very long time, perhaps since the existence of humans, as can be seen even in the Bible with Adam and Eve.

However, the way that romantic relationships exist today looks quite different to the dynamics that existed in previous times, and although there are various reasons for that, the emergence of the digital age appears to also have a hand in this shift.

With technology and social media platforms continuing to develop and grow, debates concerning the effects of these developments continue to grow as well. On one side, some hail the emergence of social media and dating apps, citing factors such as the accessibility to a wider dating pool, while some have expressed concern, such as bringing about the rise of hook-up culture, which has proven to be dangerous for women in the rape capital of the world, South Africa.

Let’s weigh the pros and cons:

Pros

Convenience: With social media apps being open and available to almost anyone who has a phone in any part of the world, meeting new people has become extremely easy, and these apps have allowed people from different cities, countries or even continents to form deep and meaningful connections with a mere push of their keyboard buttons. Furthermore, these apps allow individuals to filter out exactly what they are looking for, in terms of age, race and other factors, making matching with potentials that much easier.

Inclusivity: It is no secret that marginalised groups such as the LGBTQ+ and differently abled communities have faced challenges when it comes to dating that other groups have not. Research Gate reveals that stigma and marginalisation have become less of an issue since the emergence of channels that have become available for marginalised groups.

Cons:

Safety Risks: With South Africa boasting ridiculously high levels of crime and gender based violence (GBV), the emergence of social media has brought forward the safety risks that can arise from interacting with strangers on the internet. The gruesome case of Olorato Mongale, who was brutally murdered by Philangenkosi Makhanya, when they met up for a date after connecting and establishing a connection online, serves as a chilling reminder.

Normalising problematic practices/mindset: Although social media apps have made the dating process easier, they have also normalised problematic and dangerous practices. With things such as the ‘red-pill’ movement emerging, women in particular have expressed concern over their experiences with dating men who don’t value or respect women, based on what they have learnt on social media.

Superficiality: Perhaps the biggest conversation to stem from this debate is how social media and online dating have taken the best part of dating and created a culture where people care more about perception and public opinion, rather than the connection.

Also see: The benefits of cuddling you might not have known about