Photo of Qaqamba Falithenjwa

Are you always pouring yourself out? Here’s how to let others help you

Are you the person who’s always giving, always there for others, but rarely lets anyone be there for you? It’s easy to fall into the habit of constantly pouring yourself out, whether it’s for friends, family, or work. But over time, it can leave you feeling drained and burnt out.

You might be unable to ask for help because you fear what people would say about you, you fear that they wouldn’t want to help you. Maybe you’re so used to doing stuff for yourself that you don’t know how to ask for help or how to receive it.

Here’s the thing: you don’t have to carry it all on your own. Learning to let others help you is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Psychotherapist Susan Solomon states by understanding and believing in ourselves, we can be more open to receiving help and appreciate the extra hand.

According to Psychology Today, to challenge discomfort around accepting help, we must abandon our adaptations that felt necessary for survival and part with our negative identity of seeing ourselves as needy or a burden. It is mentioned that by assigning value to the act of receiving help, we can break down barriers and be aware of negative thoughts that minimise or deny us.

“Despite any initial discomfort around letting people help us, it can feel rewarding. The vulnerability of being open to accepting help and generosity tends to bring out a caring response in others and often leads to deeper emotional closeness.”

The Navel Gazing publication states that receiving help from others leads to stronger relationships, as rejection can make them feel devalued and take a toll on the relationship. By allowing others to show up in your life and appreciate their help, they feel valued and worthy, forming stronger bonds with you through shared experiences, the mentioned source adds.

 

Also see: How rejection therapy helps with social anxiety

Natasha Mkhize on nurturing South Africa’s next generation of world-class talent

Through her work as Executive for Strategic Relations at the Ruta Sechaba Foundation, Natasha Mkhize oversees initiatives designed to grant academically and athletically gifted learners from financially constrained backgrounds access to high-quality education at Curro schools across the country. Also see: Bayanda Walaza continues rise with Grand Prix Brescia victory In this deep dive, Mkhize […]

Read more...

Domestic workers’ rights: 4 Rules every household should know

Domestic workers play an important role in many South African households, from cleaning and laundry to childcare, gardening and caring for older or sick family members. However, employing someone in a private household also comes with legal responsibilities. Also see: Primary workers’ rights you should know as a woman South Africa’s labour laws provide domestic […]

Read more...

Theo Kgosinkwe joins dancing fans in surprise moment

Mafikizolo’s Theo Kgosinkwe gave a group of fans an unforgettable surprise when he joined them as they danced to one of the duo’s songs. Also see: Theo Kgosinkwe celebrates 50th birthday The musician shared the heartwarming moment with his followers, revealing that the women had no idea he was about to join them. ‘They didn’t […]

Read more...