Arguments can bring out the worst in people. Couples probably argue more than anyone else, surpassing even fighting with your siblings. Relationship counsellor Faye Mokitlane lists 5 ways to argue effectively.
By Zama Nkosi
- Don’t insult the other person
It’s easy to hurl insults when you’re angry. However, this shows that you are not only rude but also shows that your issues are deeper than what the argument is about. Instead of insulting your partner, think about why you’ve been holding on to angry thoughts for such a long time.
- Don’t forget to listen
It’s easy to get obsessed with getting your thoughts and feelings across during an argument. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be heard, but make sure that you also listen.
SEE ALSO: Getting back with your ex?
- Keep calm
Raising your voice will not make the situation better and it doesn’t make your point more valid. If you’re shouting you’ve crossed the line of trying to communicate in a respectful manner and will make the person you’re arguing with switch off. Curcially, you can’t listen when you’re screaming.
- Stick to the topic
Do your arguments end up being about everything wrong that has happened in your relationship? If so you’re heading to splitsville. Focus on what the argument is about and solve that. Other issues must be discussed at other times.
SEE ALSO: 7 foods that will rev up your sex life
- Know when to get a third party to intervene
Some arguments recur and don’t get any better with time. If you find yourself in this situation, the only way out is getting help because you clearly cannot reach any resolution. Seeing a therapist, your pastor or even an elder that you both respect can help you come to a resolution.
