Dating in the digital age has changed the way people meet and form relationships. For many South Africans, platforms such as dating apps, Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp can provide opportunities to connect with new people.
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However, online dating also comes with risks. Fake profiles, romance scams, financial fraud, catfishing and potentially dangerous meetups are among the concerns users should keep in mind.
Alleged online dating scam leads to arrests
The South African Police Service (SAPS) has warned about the risks associated with online fraud and catfishing, where individuals pretend to be someone else to build trust and potentially obtain money or sensitive information.
More recently, the Hawks and Interpol South Africa announced the extradition of six Nigerian nationals wanted in the United States over alleged online love scams.
According to SAPS, the suspects were allegedly linked to a scheme that targeted more than 100 women and defrauded them of more than R100 million.
While this case involved alleged international victims, it highlights how sophisticated online romance scams can become.
Here are some red flags to watch out for when dating online in South Africa.
1. They become emotionally intense very quickly
Be cautious if someone you have only recently met online starts declaring their love, talking about marriage or making intense emotional commitments almost immediately.
Scammers can use emotional attachment to establish trust before making requests for money or personal information.
A healthy relationship generally takes time to develop, so there is no need to rush into emotional or financial commitments.
2. Excuses for not meeting
Someone who claims to be working overseas, travelling constantly or living too far away may have legitimate reasons for not meeting.
However, repeated excuses or cancelled plans should make you pause, especially if the person simultaneously talks about having strong feelings for you.
If someone refuses video calls and repeatedly avoids meeting while asking you to trust them, consider whether you are actually getting to know the person you believe they are.
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3. Asking you for money
This is one of the biggest warning signs.
A person you met online may suddenly claim that they need money for an emergency, medical treatment, travel, accommodation, a family problem or another unexpected expense.
SAPS advises people to be cautious about providing personal and financial information online and to report suspected cybercrime or scams to the police.
If someone you have never met in person asks you to send money, take a step back before responding.
4. The profile seems too good to be true
A profile containing professional photographs, an impressive career, an expensive lifestyle and an apparently perfect personality may seem attractive, but photographs and information online can be copied or fabricated.
SAPS has warned about catfishing, where scammers pretend to be someone they are not in order to establish relationships and potentially defraud victims.
Consider checking whether their photographs appear elsewhere online and whether information about their job, location and social media accounts is consistent.
5. Pressuring you to meet somewhere private
Your first meeting should not take place at a stranger’s home, hotel room or isolated location simply because they insist.
Choose a busy public venue such as a shopping centre, restaurant or coffee shop. Tell a trusted friend or family member where you are going and arrange your own transport.
SAPS advises members of the public to let someone know where they are going and to trust their instincts when they feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
6. They pressure you for sexually explicit photographs
Be careful when someone you have met online asks for sexually explicit photographs.
Once an image has been sent, you lose control over where it may end up. Someone may threaten to distribute intimate images unless you send money or comply with further demands.
Do not allow emotional pressure or threats to force you into sharing material you do not want to share.
Online dating can be a positive way to meet people, but building trust should not mean ignoring warning signs. Take things slowly, protect your personal and financial information and involve someone you trust when meeting new people for the first time.
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