We often struggle to get over the people we were in relationships with. And yes, it’s perfectly normal for us to feel hung up on them but there is a way to move on…
So you’re happily in love with the person you believe may be the love of your life because ‘things are fine’. Well, things were fine until you broke up. Now you have a heavy heart and, as people say, you can’t shake your ex off. Here’s why:
STILL HOLDING ON
Instead of letting go, you’re constantly caught up in the memories you shared, and many of them are probably fond memories. So you end up thinking back to how you met, and you find yourself falling for him or her all over again.
Stop yourself from doing this by avoiding your ex – whether by staying away from places they usually go to or not responding to their text. This will help you in detoxing your ex out of your system.
Holding on also has the idealising effect, which means you choose to see the good in them as appose to the truth. This could start up an obsession with him, so stop and let go.
YOU HAVE NOT GRIEVED
Perhaps it’s because you haven’t really accepted that it’s over or that you haven’t fully understood what and how it all happened; but for some reason you haven’t allowed yourself to mourn the break up. You haven’t grieved so you’re still hung up. If the person has not been willing to give you their all then you should just move on. Don’t create a fairy tale relationship with a happy ending as life is not like that.
THE CONNECTION
According to motivational speaker Dr Toni Luck there’s always going to be a connection with the people we are in relationships with, even when they come to an end, this is more likely with people who are or were intimate sexually with. “It takes people a while to get over each other because men are the givers of life and nurture, women are also the receivers of their partner’s ideas, energy, and these connections are not easily broken,” she expands.
Yes, you want to get over your ex, but do not beat yourself up if this does not happen overnight. Give yourself time to let go, grieve and accept that there will always be an unspoken connection you will have with them regardless.
