Photo of Qaqamba Falithenjwa

Parenting habits that are toxic to your kids

We all want to raise happy, healthy little humans, but sometimes, even with the best intentions, our parenting habits can do more harm than good. No one’s handing out a perfect-parent manual at the hospital, and let’s be honest, we’re all winging it at least half the time.

However, certain patterns, if left unchecked, can quietly harm a child’s confidence and emotional well-being.

Take helicopter parenting, for example. Constant hovering may seem like a show of love and protection, but Psychology Today warns it can actually lead to anxiety and poor problem-solving skills in kids. Children need space to fail, fall, and figure things out—it’s how they grow.

Then there’s emotional invalidation. Think “You’re fine, stop crying” or “There’s nothing to be sad about.” According to Very Well Mind, this habit teaches kids to suppress their emotions rather than understand and manage them. Emotional regulation starts with being allowed to feel, even if it’s over a broken crayon, states the above source.

Another sneaky one is comparing siblings or other kids. Even casual remarks like “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” can leave deep dents in self-esteem. The Child Mind Institute notes that comparisons create unnecessary rivalry and feelings of inadequacy, which can last well into adulthood.

And while we’re at it, let’s not forget about modeling unhealthy self-talk. If a child constantly hears a parent saying, “I’m so fat” or “I can’t do anything right,” those messages don’t just fade—they echo.

Parenting isn’t about perfection, it’s about learning, adjusting, and doing our best with the tools we have. Toxic habits can be unlearned, and every day brings a fresh chance to show up differently, for them and for ourselves.

Also see: Fun activities your kids will enjoy for autumn holidays

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