Whether it is an intimate relationship, a friendship, or a work relationship, it is important to know how to solve conflict, in case you happen to come across it. Often when we come across conflict related situations, we do not know how to handle the pressure and sometimes end up handling the situation in a manner that wouldn’t make us happy when we are calmer.
The HelpGuide offers the following tips on how to solve conflict in any relationship.
Listen for what is felt as well as said – when you really listen, you connect more deeply to your own needs and emotions, and to those of other people. Listening also strengthens, informs, and makes it easier for others to hear you when it’s your turn to speak.
Make conflict resolution the priority rather than winning or “being right” – maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than “winning” the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person and their viewpoint.
Focus on the present. If you’re holding on to grudges based on past conflicts, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be impaired. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here-and-now to solve the problem.
Pick your battles. Conflicts can be draining, so it’s important to consider whether the issue is really worth your time and energy. Maybe you don’t want to surrender a parking space if you’ve been circling for 15 minutes, but if there are dozens of empty spots, arguing over a single space isn’t worth it.
Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive others. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can serve only to deplete and drain your life.
Also see: 5 Signs you’ve outgrown someone
