Photo of Qaqamba Falithenjwa

Grief triggers and why unexpected moments bring waves of emotion

Grief is often thought of as something we experience only after the loss of a loved one, but it’s far more complex than that. Triggers of grief can surface in unexpected ways and these moments can hit you when you least expect them, pulling you into waves of emotion that can feel overwhelming.

Understanding what triggers grief and how to navigate it can help you heal more healthily. According to My Grief Assist, grief triggers are anything that brings up memories of a loss, often during significant events like birthdays, Christmas, family occasions, or holidays. These moments are said to be upsetting, rekindling emotions such as sadness, longing, regret, loneliness, and thoughts of ‘if only’. However, they can also bring joy and gratitude for the happiness that has been had, the publication adds.

“Memories are where our loved ones continue to live after they’re gone; it’s why we hold onto objects that remind us of them and go to places where they feel near. True, when someone we love dies we are forevermore at risk of their memory triggering aftershocks of the pain. But inversely, if we let them, such reminders may also fill us with warmth and comfort.”

The Funeral Basics publication states that grief triggers can be anticipated or unexpected, they can come from various sources, such as smells, sounds, songs, movies, people, colours, or anything that stirs a memory. It is stated that identifying these triggers helps prepare for future moments of deep grief and helps in managing the process.

“As you work through your grief, pay attention to when these sudden bursts hit you. What were you doing? What did you see? Smell? Hear? Did a memory come to mind? As you identify your personal grief triggers, you can better prepare for them in the future.”

Carson’s Village mentions that another trigger could be a stranger who looks just like your loved one who died.

Also see: This is how grief affects your body

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