In an era defined by hyper-individualism, social fragmentation, and rising rates of loneliness, the concept of ‘the village’ has emerged as a central cultural ideal.
Modern discourse across wellness platforms, mental health advocacy groups, and social media feeds frequently frames collective living and communal support networks as the ultimate antidote to burnout, isolated parenting, and emotional exhaustion.
Also see: 5 Signs you’re craving community more than connection online
However, a growing conversation sparked by journalists, wellness advocates, and social commentators, notably articulated by Transparent & Black founder Yasmine Jameelah, is examining the romanticised narrative surrounding community building. While the desire to belong to a supportive village is universal, the ongoing emotional labour, conflict resolution, and mutual accountability required to sustain one are frequently overlooked.
The idealisation of communal support
The popular adage “it takes a village” traditionally referenced multi-generational family structures, shared child-rearing, and localised community care. In contemporary urban environments, young adults, single professionals, and young families are increasingly attempting to construct chosen villages to replace fragmented geographical or familial ties.
Sociological research highlights why the appeal is so strong:
Emotional and mutual aid
A functional network provides crucial psychological safety nets, shared responsibilities, and trusted spaces during life transitions or personal crises.
Countering isolation
In fast-paced urban centres, reliable communal ties reduce systemic loneliness and foster a shared sense of identity and purpose.
Yet, despite widespread enthusiasm for communal care, many modern attempts to build a village collapse under the weight of unexamined expectations.
The hidden mechanics: Reciprocity, boundaries, and emotional labour
People often treat building a village as an aesthetic goal rather than an active, ongoing commitment. As commentary surrounding the issue emphasises, a village is not a one-way service provider designed solely to offer comfort when an individual is in need. It functions as an ecosystem that demands consistent cultivation.
Also see: The kids want community: Local social clubs for SA youth
A village fails when members expect constant nurture without offering the same capacity in return, as true reciprocity requires checking in and investing time even when it is inconvenient.
Furthermore, sustaining these bonds means moving past conflict-averse tendencies to engage in restorative conversations rather than quietly withdrawing during disagreements. While personal boundaries are vital for mental health, an over-reliance on rigidity can unintentionally isolate individuals from the messy, uncurated realities of long-term connection.
Moving from idealisation to active stewardship
For young South Africans navigating economic pressures, career demands, and shifting social landscapes, reframing ‘the village’ requires moving from passive expectation to active stewardship.
Mental health professionals and community organisers emphasise that a sustainable support system cannot be bought or casually summoned during a crisis. It is built slowly through everyday acts of presence, intentional communication, and a willingness to hold space for others even when capacity is stretched.
Ultimately, wanting a village is only the starting point. The true work lies in developing the emotional maturity, consistency, and dedication required to maintain one.
Also see: Is digital fatigue driving South Africans back to physical community spaces?
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