Being a parent is no child’s play, you somehow think you know what makes a perfect parent and all your life you strive to be just that. Often your expectations of yourself are unrealistic and you end up stressing yourself out when none materialise.
You end up possessing a lot of guilt that hinders you from doing any right but your child. I am this parent, and most of the time I have no idea what I’m doing or supposed to do with my son, I have an idea of what people may expect me to be, but even that I can’t do right.
This is called mom guilt and according to the Cleveland Clinic, this phenomenon refers to the feelings of guilt and shame experienced when a parent fails to meet their or others’ expectations in their role.
It is said to be a core emotion governing social behaviour, encouraging compliance with social norms or self-imposed standards. The clinic explains that guilt is a natural experience due to competing responsibilities and expectations in our lives.
The What To Expect publication suggests that in overcoming this guilt, moms need to share responsibilities with partners or single moms to free up time for themselves. They are also advised to connect with supportive individuals who can offer babysitting or empathetic support. “There’s nothing wrong with avoiding people — even relatives — who make you feel guilty or judged. If the naysayer is droning on again about your latest parenting failing, find an excuse to leave the room. After a couple of times, the person should get the message.”
According to Choosing Therapy, it’s important to let go of expectations of motherhood and allow room for your partner or supports to create their rhythm and routine. Remember who you are beyond motherhood, taking time to explore hobbies and interests, and socialising with other adults, this will help you build self-confidence and reduce reliance on your children, states the mentioned source.
Also see: This is why most women are choosing solo parenting
