Making friends can seem easier when you are younger. School, university and other social environments naturally put you around people with similar interests and routines. As an adult, work, family responsibilities and busy schedules can make building new friendships more challenging.
Also see: Mastering adult friendships: The art of compartmentalisation
The American Psychological Association notes that adult friendships can be difficult to maintain as work, relationships, childcare and other responsibilities compete for attention.
However, meaningful friendships can still be built at any stage of life. It may simply require more intention.
Put yourself in social spaces
One of the easiest ways to meet new people is to spend time in places where interaction happens naturally.
Consider joining a running club, book club, fitness class, community organisation, volunteering group or hobby class. Mayo Clinic recommends looking for community events, interest-based groups, volunteering opportunities and classes as ways to meet potential friends.
Be willing to start the conversation
Waiting for someone else to make the first move can keep you stuck.
If you meet someone you enjoy talking to, introduce yourself, ask about their interests or suggest continuing the conversation over coffee. Reaching out can feel uncomfortable, but taking that first step is often necessary to turn a casual acquaintance into a potential friendship.
Make consistency a priority
Friendships usually need time to develop. Seeing the same people regularly gives you more opportunities to learn about each other and build trust.
The U.S. Surgeon General’s guidance on social connection encourages people to invest time in relationships through consistent, frequent and meaningful interaction.
If you join a class or group, try to attend regularly rather than going once and giving up.
Take the friendship beyond the original setting
If you only see someone at work, at the gym or in a weekly class, your relationship may remain limited to that environment.
Once you feel comfortable, suggest doing something outside the usual setting. Invite them for lunch, grab coffee, take a walk or attend an event together. Mayo Clinic also recommends giving and accepting invitations as a way of developing friendships.
Also see: Navigating adult friendship break-ups
Use technology to stay connected
Messaging apps, social media and online communities can help you maintain relationships when schedules are busy.
If you meet someone you connect with, exchange contact details and make an effort to stay in touch. However, online interaction works best when it supports genuine connection rather than completely replacing face-to-face relationships, Mayo Clinic notes.
Be open about your interests
You do not need to change your personality to make friends.
Talk about the things you genuinely enjoy — whether that is music, books, sport, cooking, travel or movies. Shared interests can provide natural opportunities for conversation and activities.
Don’t take rejection personally
Not every new connection will become a friendship.
Someone may already have a busy social life, be dealing with personal responsibilities or simply not be looking for new friendships. Don’t let one unsuccessful connection discourage you from trying again.
Be the friend you want to have
Friendship requires effort from both sides.
Be a good listener, check in on people, keep your promises and show genuine interest in what is happening in their lives. Mayo Clinic highlights kindness, listening, trust, openness and making time for one another as important parts of maintaining healthy friendships.
Give it time
You do not need to find a best friend immediately.
Focus on developing small connections and allow relationships to grow naturally. A regular coffee, shared hobby or occasional conversation can eventually become a meaningful friendship.
Friendships can also contribute to overall well-being. The U.S. Surgeon General says social connection plays an important role in individual and community health, while Mayo Clinic notes that strong friendships can increase feelings of belonging and purpose and help people cope with difficult periods.
Also see: Starting friendships after 25 don’t have to be weird, here’s why
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