With work, family, relationships and everyday responsibilities demanding our attention, it can be easy to put our own needs at the bottom of the list.
Also see: Choose yourself today. Here’s why
National Self-First Day is a timely reminder to make yourself a priority. Choosing yourself does not mean ignoring the people you love or becoming selfish. It means recognising that your time, energy, goals and wellbeing matter too.
The NHS notes that the relationship we have with ourselves is important to our mental well-being, while making time for yourself and setting healthy boundaries can help support that relationship.
Here are seven simple ways to start choosing yourself every day.
1. Learn to say no
You do not have to say yes to everything simply because someone asks.
Whether it is taking on another task at work, attending an event you do not have the energy for or constantly helping others at your own expense, sometimes the healthiest response is no.
Saying no does not make you unkind. It can be a way of protecting your time and recognising your limits.
The NHS recommends thinking about what you feel able to do for others and sticking to those boundaries.
2. Make time for yourself
You do not need an entire weekend or an expensive getaway to spend quality time with yourself.
Set aside even 20 or 30 minutes to do something you genuinely enjoy. Read a book, listen to music, take a walk, watch your favourite show or simply sit somewhere quiet.
The NHS recommends finding time to do something just for yourself, including focusing on your hobbies and interests.
The important thing is to stop treating your personal time as something you only deserve once everything else has been completed.
3. Set healthier boundaries
Choosing yourself often means becoming more comfortable with boundaries.
You can decide when you are available, how much of your time you can give and which behaviours you are unwilling to tolerate. This applies to friendships, romantic relationships, family and the workplace.
Healthy boundaries can also help you avoid becoming overwhelmed by other people’s needs. The NHS recommends setting boundaries as one way of protecting your mental well-being in relationships.
4. Stop comparing your journey
Social media can make it tempting to compare your career, relationships, appearance, finances or lifestyle with everyone else’s.
But a social media post rarely tells the whole story.
Instead of asking why you are not where someone else appears to be, ask yourself what you want and what steps you can realistically take towards it.
Choosing yourself means defining success according to your own values rather than constantly measuring your life against someone else’s.
Also see: Why it’s not selfish to choose yourself
5. Take your finances seriously
Putting yourself first also means thinking about your financial future.
Create a realistic budget, save towards your goals and be mindful of spending money simply because you feel pressured to keep up with others.
Financial choices can affect your stress levels and overall sense of security, so taking control of your money is another practical way of investing in yourself.
You do not need to have a huge salary to start. Small, consistent financial habits can make a difference over time.
6. Give yourself permission to rest
Being busy all the time does not mean you are doing well.
Work, household responsibilities and social commitments can leave you feeling exhausted if you never make time to recharge.
The NHS notes that prolonged or severe stress can contribute to physical, mental and emotional exhaustion, and recommends practical self-care strategies for managing stress.
Rest can be as simple as taking a quiet evening, getting enough sleep, going for a relaxing walk or putting your phone away for a while. You do not have to wait until you are completely exhausted before taking a break.
7. Invest in your own growth
Choosing yourself can also mean believing that your future is worth investing in.
Learn a new skill, apply for that job, update your CV, take a course, start a hobby or finally work on the personal goal you have been postponing.
It does not have to be a dramatic transformation. Small, consistent steps can help you build habits that support your wellbeing and future goals.
The NHS recommends developing personal wellbeing routines and identifying activities and strategies that work for you.
Choosing yourself is not selfish
National Self-First Day is a useful reminder that caring for yourself should not always come last. You can love your family, support your friends, show up for your colleagues and still make room for your own needs.
Also see: Smart ways to get yourself to eat better
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