A relationship expert gives us insight on the benefits of premarital counselling for couples who want to take the leap.
By Zukiswa Dlamini
Planning for your wedding is exciting – you have dresses and suits to look at, cakes to taste and a lifetime of love to look forward to. But, before you get carried away, it is important to consider pre-marital counselling.
Relationship counsellor Gugu Khoza says this is common in many churches, but often gets overlooked by couples who aren’t churchgoers as it is not mandatory for them. Some priests refuse to marry couples who haven’t gone through the process. However, premarital counselling shouldn’t be a rule but a practice that couples should be willing to learn from.
Do you know each other?
Even though most couples feel that they know each other well enough to commit to ‘forever’, they often don’t. Gugu says it is difficult to be with someone daily and actually build a successful relationship. “You just have to look at the divorce rates to know that,” she says.
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The benefits
Premarital counselling offers the couple a chance to get insight in their partner in new ways, and helps them look at the most common issues that plague marriages. Many couples are also caught up in the romantic picture of what marriage should be. But, the truth is, not every day will be a grand romance.
The truth
A harsh reality of premarital counselling is that couples might find that there is an issue they can’t agree on. Gugu says it is often women who are willing to compromise their beliefs for the sake of getting married.
On major issues such as money, fidelity and kids, Gugu says she wouldn’t suggest that a couple goes ahead with the marriage if they can’t agree on these matters. But, it is not all doom and gloom. According to Gugu, premarital counselling often goes well and puts couples on the same page. It gives them a solid foundation to work from.
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