In a world that constantly celebrates high productivity, reliability, and resilience, many individuals manage to hold down demanding jobs, raise families, and maintain active social lives while privately carrying heavy emotional burdens.
Also see: Bridging the digital divide in community mental health with Esther Chunga
To shed light on these hidden battles, BONA sat down with Kimona Premjitha, a clinical psychologist at The Hyding, to discuss the subtle, high-functioning signs of emotional distress, cultural barriers to seeking help, and the vital importance of preventative mental healthcare.
Unpacking ‘high-functioning’ emotional distress
Being able to manage daily responsibilities does not automatically mean a person is coping emotionally. Someone can go to work every day, contribute financially at home, and raise children while internally struggling.
According to Premjith, the signs of this high-functioning distress are often subtle:
- Behavioural shifts: A person may become more irritable, struggle to sleep, overthink everything, or feel constantly exhausted even after resting.
- The ‘reliable one ‘ trap: They are frequently the person everyone calls when they need help, yet they feel they have nobody they can turn to themselves.
- Hyper-busyness: Some individuals keep themselves so overwhelmingly busy that they rarely have to sit with their own feelings.
Communities often praise people for being strong and dependable without asking what it costs them. When someone appears to have everything under control, they are often simply proficient at masking their pain.
Cultural mindsets, resilience, and masking
In many cultures and families, perseverance through hardship is a deeply ingrained value. However, this can blur the line between genuine resilience and feeling compelled to carry everything alone.
Premjith highlights that these cultural expectations often manifest differently across demographics:
- The pressure to endure: People may grow up hearing that life is hard, that they must be strong, and that struggling or talking about problems implies a lack of strength.
- Financial and familial obligations: For individuals supporting extended families or raising children, admitting vulnerability feels risky, leading them to fear appearing incapable or becoming a burden.
- Gendered expectations: Men may face pressure to provide and solve problems independently, often channelling distress into anger, irritability, overwork, or alcohol use. Meanwhile, women frequently balance childcare, work, and household duties while putting their own emotional needs last.
Ignoring these emotional needs does not make them disappear; over time, it leads to exhaustion, strained relationships, and physical depletion.
Also see: Workplace mental health: Why silence doesn’t mean everything is fine
Stress versus burnout and clinical depression
Recognising when everyday stress crosses the line into a deeper mental health issue is crucial. Everyday stress typically stems from a specific situation, such as a work deadline or financial pressure, and generally improves once the situation settles or after a good rest.
In contrast, depression and burnout persist. Burnout, driven by prolonged work-related stress, leaves individuals emotionally exhausted and detached, while depression can cause persistent low moods, loss of interest in enjoyed activities, and fatigue that a weekend off cannot fix.
Premjith encourages individuals to notice when they no longer feel like themselves and to seek support before reaching a crisis point.
Shifting toward preventative mental healthcare
Physical healthcare is routinely proactive, yet mental health care remains largely reactive. True preventative mental healthcare involves tuning into emotional warning signs, such as chronic tiredness, irritability, or sleep disturbances, before a complete breakdown occurs.
Premjith notes that therapy should not be reserved only for severe crises or individuals who cannot function. Seeking professional guidance early helps individuals unpack recurring difficulties, establish healthy boundaries, and realise that self-worth is not solely tied to relentless productivity.
Featured image: iStock/skynesher
Also see: Building healthy habits without burning yourself out
Be the first to know – Join our WhatsApp channel for content worth tapping into. Click here to join!
