A relationship can have plenty of conversations and still feel distant. It can also have a healthy sex life without creating the deeper sense of security that comes from truly knowing your partner.
That is where physical and emotional intimacy come in.
Also see: Can flirting be considered emotional cheating?
Intimacy is not only about sex. It can be holding hands, sharing a long hug after a difficult day, kissing or simply feeling comfortable enough to be yourself around your partner.
What is physical intimacy?
According to couples therapist Figs O’Sullivan from Empathi, sex is one form of physical intimacy, but affection does not always have to lead to the bedroom.
Small gestures of touch can help couples feel connected and remind them that their relationship is different from a friendship or other close bond.
Physical intimacy can also create space for emotional connection, notes Figs. When couples feel close physically, they may find it easier to open up and talk about what is really happening in their lives.
Sex can also bring pleasure and provide a break from the pressures of everyday life. Physical intimacy links to stress relief, better sleep and emotional well-being, although it should not be viewed as a cure-all for health or relationship problems.
Also see: Does dirty talk and sexting really enhance your sex life?
What is emotional intimacy?
Emotional intimacy shows your partner the parts of you that are not always easy to share. Figs states that it could mean talking about your fears, admitting that you are struggling, or opening up about something that has hurt you.
Being able to do this without feeling judged can create a deeper sense of trust and security.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs places love and belonging among fundamental human needs. In relationships, this can mean feeling seen, heard and understood.
Physical and emotional intimacy can work together
Emotional and physical intimacy are not competing needs. They can strengthen each other.
Feeling emotionally connected can make physical intimacy more enjoyable, while affection and touch can help couples reconnect after a difficult day or disagreement.
For many couples, desire is also influenced by what is happening outside the bedroom, says Figs. Feeling ignored, resentful or disconnected can affect sexual intimacy, while quality time and honest conversations can help rebuild closeness.
Connection matters in the long run
The Harvard Study of Adult Development has highlighted the importance of relationships to overall well-being. Ultimately, intimacy is about feeling connected to another person, explain Lindsay Hammond and Lisa Jones from The Relationship Coaches.
Sometimes that means a meaningful conversation. Sometimes it is a hug, holding hands or sharing sexual intimacy.
The important part is being present with each other and making space for both emotional and physical closeness.
Also see: Smart ways to make long-distance relationships work
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