Photo of Akhona Ndlela

Friendships 101: Are girl trios toxic or just tricky?

“Girl trios never last” is a conversation that occurs more often than we’d like to acknowledge. Or even worse, this one as well: “One person is always left out.”

Is the trio actually the issue? Or does our behaviour determine whether a friendship succeeds or fails?

Well, girl trios can be challenging. When three distinct personalities are present, there is a chance of imbalance, with one person feeling left out, another mediating conflict, and subtle power dynamics that are rarely discussed.

However, this isn’t just for trios. Like any relationship, friendships need emotional maturity, respect for one another, and communication.

PICTURE: PEXELS/ TRIO

Clinical psychologist Dr. Sabrina Romanoff shares, “There is an intrinsic imbalance in a group of three where the bonding of two members can easily make the third person feel discounted. It takes a high level of sophistication, consideration, and self-awareness to communicate and make decisions in a way where all people are heard, accepted, and their input is valued.”

The above psychology expert also highlights that in a group of three, there is an inherent imbalance where the bonding of two people can quickly make the third person feel undervalued.

Cheryl Groskopf, a relationship and attachment therapist, states that the ‘triadic relationship’ that might result from three-person interactions is similar to early attachment experiences. Deep survival reactions brought on by feelings of exclusion might result in inquiries about connection, replacement, and excess. People may be drawn into roles such as “third wheel” or “fixer” by these groups, which can complicate and possibly unintentionally complicate relationships.

 

Also see: Conversations that shouldn’t be done over text

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