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Are you the red flag? How to stop being the toxic person

by Qaqamba Falithenjwa
Man thiking: picture: pexels

It’s easy to spot toxic behaviour in others, but what if the red flags are coming from you? The truth is, none of us are perfect, and sometimes, without realising it, we might be the ones adding negativity to relationships, friendships, or workspaces.

Acknowledging this doesn’t mean beating yourself up, it’s actually the first step toward growth and healthier connections. Let’s look at the subtle signs that you might be exhibiting toxic traits and how to shift your mindset for more positive, fulfilling interactions with those around you.

The Thought Catalog states that feeling unhappy for others indicates a lack of fulfilment in your own life, and that feeling jealous or upset at someone else’s success feeds the toxic beast inside.

The above source also states that it’s important to challenge the unfairness of life and see other people’s fortune as motivation and inspiration, instead of competition and a reason to not like them.

“They didn’t take anything away from you. They got what they wanted and they probably had many moments of struggle and doubt and eventually, your time will come.”

As a toxic individual, you often make people feel bad, they avoid you because you have a superiority complex, are controlling, emotionally manipulative, and lack accountability, claims Your Tango.

It is further mentioned that you may make people feel worse off than you found them and believe you know what is best for everyone. “You like to use emotional blackmail to get your way. You might threaten to harm yourself or go away in an attempt to spur action from other people. This is toxicity at its finest.”

According to HuffPost, toxicity is often a result of a lack of self-awareness, which involves examining how one’s attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours affect other people. Recognising unhealthy tendencies is the first step to change.

It is tested that reflecting on past toxic relationships or childhood, self-reflection, accountability, and listening to feedback are essential. The publication also suggests working with a therapist or becoming curious and compassionate as that can help identify patterns and develop actionable goals.

Also see: How to identify narcissistic behaviour

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