Friends are an important part of our lives that we sometimes rely on for moral support in order to navigate life and its challenges. Being in a friendship is a choice to love and care for someone that you are not born with or related to.
Better Help adds that a friend could be someone you’ve been close to for years, or it might be new person that you have just met in your life. It could be someone you bond with over a favourite sport or TV show, or perhaps a newcomer at school or work.
As beautiful as being in a friendship is, friendships can also be toxic. This is when the person you see as a friend does not have good intentions, drains you mentally, breaks you instead of building you or when they simply do not respect you and your feelings.
According to the Healthline, you are in a toxic friendship if your friend is:
Constantly comparing you to others; These are the kind of friends who likes to point out the ways you don’t measure up to their other friends. Maybe your apartment is smaller than X’s apartment so it’s not as fun to hang out with you. Or dressing more like Y would make you cooler.
Tries to change you: A true friend understands that people have different personalities, and they’ll accept you for yourself. If you ask for guidance on something you’d like to change, they might provide support and encouragement, but they’ll probably wait for you to ask instead of telling you what you should do.
Put themselves front and centre always; Ever had a fair-weather friend? They drop in when things are going well or when they need something, but when you’re struggling, you can’t reach them at all. Some friends can go on for an hour about their recent problems. When they finish venting, they offer a token, “And how are you?” before quickly turning the conversation back to themselves.
Apologize without sincerity; When you call them out on their behavior, they shrug off your distress or give a flippant, “Sorry.” Instead of taking time to consider your perspective, they say, “I’m sorry you feel that way” or follow up their apology with a defensive “but.” You know the one: “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, but it was just a joke. “
Puts you down; friends often joke with each other, and a little good-natured teasing doesn’t mean your friendship is toxic, especially if you’re laughing, too. When a friend regularly demeans you and makes you feel miserable, whether they use more subtle negging tactics or outright insults, your friendship probably isn’t a healthy one.
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