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Things to know before adopting a child

by Bongiwe Mati

The adoption process can be long, stressful and overwhelming. It does, however, bring you joy once the process has been finalised and your child can finally join you and your family.

Some of those who have gone through the process share that their worry was not knowing if the child would like the new environment and the amount of time it would take to warm up to their new surroundings. It is important for someone who plans to adopt a child to be fully equipped with knowledge for this journey.

The New York Times suggests you know your reasons for making the decision to adopt and accept your limits.

The following are some of the questions experts suggest you explore:

  • Do you have a clear motive for your reasons to adopt, as this might help navigate this journey better?
  • Is it important to you to parent a newborn, or are you open to adopting an older child? How about a sibling group?

  • If you are matched with a child of another race or background, are you prepared to educate yourself on the nuances of forming an interracial or intercultural family?

  • How much contact are you comfortable having between you and your adopted child, and his or her birth family?

  • If you adopt an infant, are you going to be open and transparent to them about where they come from once grown?

Laura Lamminen, PhD, lead psychologist at the Rees-Jones Center for Foster Care Excellence at Children’s Health in Dallas states, “Adoption is a lifelong commitment to another person. Prospective adoptive parents should weigh out all of the positives along with the challenges that come with adopting a child before following through.”

It is also important to understand that once the child is adopted, he/she becomes your own. Tiptoeing around the child afraid to call them out when they are wrong will not make things easier for you.

Also see: How to teach about body boundaries to your children

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