Can having a happy outlook all the time have a detrimental effect on your life and the lives of those you connect with in real life and online? That very well could happen when it reaches a point of what mental-health professionals refer to as “toxic positivity.”
The idea that people should keep a happy outlook no matter how difficult their circumstances, or the practice of portraying one’s life through the traditional rose-colored glasses that distort reality, are only two examples of toxic positivity.
Understanding this dynamic is especially important for the younger generations who are more likely to witness it on social media at a time when our society is dealing with a pandemic and tense racial relations.
Toxic positivity, according to Dr. Wycoff, associate professor and director of the community and trauma counseling program is a message that silences us and/or those around us, especially when it hides real sentiments and emotions. Positivity and maintaining an upbeat attitude are excellent traits, but when they “come at the cost of rejecting, suppressing and silencing one’s emotional experiences or demands, that’s when you’re in problem,” she says.
“Nobody is happy 100 percent of the time. A range of emotions is part of the human experience,” she notes. “If we lie to ourselves about the harder feelings, it creates shame and becomes problematic.” That’s not to say it’s bad to abide by a positive outlook—offering supportive statements, quotes and Biblical passages—but she suggests being mindful of where the other person is and how your encouragement may be received or interpreted.
Remember, too much of a good thing can be problematic.
Also see: How to take criticism in a positive way in 2023
