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When You’re Spoken For

So, you have finally found the one – he proposed and now you can’t stop looking at your ring. You feel glorious, you are glowing and feeling lovely because you were chosen amongst many (so to speak), and you’re probably unaware of the realities you will face as an engaged woman. We’re often told to prepare for marriage but honestly, you start feeling and facing the reality of your new life ahead when you are engaged. Here are five things no one will tell you about being an engaged woman.

Thinkstock
Thinkstock

You’re unclassified

You’re not yet married, so you can’t classify yourself as such on any forms, but you’re not single either so you feel like you would be lying if you classified yourself as single.

You lose friends

As with everything in life, you will lose some friends, and most of them start distancing themselves the minute you announce your engagement. The reasons range from jealousy, to simply feeling like they don’t fit in with you anymore. Just remember, it’s not your fault.

Your relationship with your future in-laws

Your relationship will change because your status in their family is about to change. You are no longer just Sipho’s girlfriend, you’re now Sipho’s future wife, so expect them to treat you differently. As with everything new, this change is scary because people’s expectations of what a makoti is differs and might clash with yours.

The finances

He is saving up for your lobola so that girlfriend allowance is a thing of the past. You’re going to have to cut back on some things you used to do as a couple because he has less money in his bank. Even then, you have to buy a house if you don’t already own one, furniture and pay for the actual wedding. Most of these expense fall on the groom once the lobola money has been used for your wedding.

Your relationship changes

No matter how long you’ve been together or how much you love him, things are going to change. You have just agreed to spend the rest of your life with this person and that’s a big decision. So there are moments when you’re going to be wondering (and terrified) about the decision you made. Every mistake will be magnified and if you’ve never cried over how amazing it feels to be loved and being chosen by him, then you’re going to start now.

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