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Understanding why sex toys don’t interest some men

by Chumasande Matiwane
Set of erotic toys for BDSM. The game of sexual slavery with a whip, gag and leather blindfold. Intimate sex games
Set of erotic toys for BDSM. The game of sexual slavery with a whip, gag and leather blindfold. Intimate sex games

Sex toys have become increasingly mainstream, with a growing range of products designed for people of all genders. While many men incorporate them into solo or partnered sexual experiences, others choose not to use them.  

Their reasons vary widely and are shaped by personal preferences, cultural influences, relationship dynamics, comfort levels, and misconceptions. 

When it comes to sex toys, there is no right or wrong choice. Sexual wellness is deeply personal, and whether someone uses sex toys or not is a matter of individual preference.  

Understanding why your man avoids them can help reduce the stereotypes and encourage your partner to open conversations about sexual health. 

Also see: The dangers of sexting: What you should know before hitting send

Sex toys and men

Men’s Clinic International states, “It is common for men to worry if their female partners use sex toys. Furthermore, if a male partner sees that his partner uses sex toys, he might feel insecure about his sexual ability or inability to please her.” 

The male partner may experience sexual performance anxiety as a result of their partner using toys. But what most don’t know is that sex toys may be helpful if both partners are in a long-distance relationship to ensure self-pleasure and avoid cheating.  

Also see: How long should good sex last?

Misconceptions about masculinity

Some men believe that relying on a sex toy can somehow reflect negatively on their masculinity or sexual confidence. Men’s Clinic International continues to note, “The fact that many men have issues with their partners when they use sex toys is not surprising! Furthermore, it’s not surprising that men won’t understand sex toys easily in a relationship.” 

Men may mistakenly view these products as something that should only be used when there is a problem. But sex toys are wellness products designed to enhance pleasure for both parties. 

Whether someone chooses to use sex toys or not, the most important factors are consent, comfort, and maintaining healthy, respectful relationships. 

Also see: The surprising benefits of talking openly about sex

Featured image: Getty Images / ADragn

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