Photo of Qaqamba Falithenjwa

How to practice self forgiveness

Sometimes we go through situations in life where we end up feeling as though we could have avoided them. It often happens that we experience unpleasantries and then blame ourselves for not being careful or not being wise enough.

All this happens to the best of us, however, what’s important is learning to move on from a situation and release all tension, especially one that is from you to you. Self-care is not only about having a skincare routine and drinking plenty of water, it’s also about being kind to your mental wellness.

It’s often said that you can only forgive others if you’re able to forgive yourself, so, how important is self-forgiveness? The Chenal Family Therapy publication states that forgiving yourself is a powerful tool for emotional healing, self-acceptance, self-esteem, and mental health. It allows individuals to release negative emotions, acknowledge their imperfections, and break free from the past.

“By forgiving yourself, you acknowledge your imperfections and mistakes as part of being human. It promotes self-acceptance and self-compassion, recognizing that everyone makes errors and that it is a natural part of life.”

Several relevant publications advised on ways to go about forgiving yourself. According to WebMD, you need to think back to a time when you felt safe and cared for someone and acknowledge the event and the feelings it caused you, “Visualize the feeling of being around them and being protected. Let yourself feel safe. Then, together with your protector, list all of your positive qualities.”

The publication continues to state that you avoid guilt, as it can hinder self-forgiveness, therefore take responsibility for your actions and the person you wronged, and learn to accept that you did what you did.

Forgiving yourself involves understanding your emotions, accepting responsibility for your actions, treating yourself with kindness and compassion, and expressing remorse for your mistakes, claims Very Well Mind. This process is said not to be just about putting the past behind you and moving on, but also about accepting what has happened and showing compassion to yourself.

“Forgiving yourself also means making an active effort to do better in the future. As you approach similar situations, reflect on how you felt about your past mistakes. Rather than feeling guilty about those past errors, remind yourself about what you learned and how you can use that knowledge and experience to guide your actions going forward.”

 

Also see: 7 Medical benefits of forgiveness

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