Photo of Ashia Nkontsa

Reasons why you shouldn’t look at your partner’s phone

When you are snooping to check the messages on your partner’s phone, are you looking for a specific message or is it trust issues?

This practice has ended many relationships. However, there are relationships that have an open policy between them where everything is open cards, even their cellphones.

In other relationships trust is everything, you would put your phone anywhere and they won’t even be interested in looking at it because they trust wholeheartedly.

You might disagree but perhaps some things are better not known instead of digging for something that may cripple you but on the flip side, better know the devil you’re with in the early stages of your relationship.

According to psychologist Jasmine Kuah, he shared with Impossible Psychologist Service that in this modern age, our smartphones have become somewhat like our digital diaries, where our inner thoughts and secrets are contained. A look inside someone’s phone is quite telling of who they are as a person – their likes, dislikes and the people they hang out with.

These are the things you should be discussing with your partner:

Talk about what trust means to a relationship

A relationship without trust can sometimes be disastrous, in many cases where there are unresolved trust issues. Kuah says It is likely that someone with ex-partners who cheated on them or had a parent that cheated on the other will be more inclined to think that their current partner is cheating on them.

Is there ever a perfect time to check your partner’s phone

It is recommended that it shouldn’t be an option, however, if you have experienced infidelity it might help to look at your partner’s phone to help rebuild trust in your relationship. 

After breaking someone’s trust, it takes time for them to look at you the same again. Patience and being open can sometimes help.

To get over the suspicions

Instead of sneaking on your partner’s phone when he’s not around, have an honest discussion about your fears, suspicions and concerns.

“If you think that your snooping behavior is due to someone or something that happened in your past – be honest with yourself and seek help with a psychologist to resolve your personal issues.” says Kuah

Also see: Things you should never apologise for in a relationship

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