Photo of Ashia Nkontsa

Why is there a stigma to women proposing to men?

Sadly, this is still an ongoing debate whether the gender roles have been switched or not and for some people this question is purely based on different traditions and beliefs.

However, Rachel Jarrett from an Insights and Data Company called Zola says “Why are women and men who fight for equality in all other aspects of their lives clinging to a tradition that inherently does not put them on equal footing?”

These days even couples who view themselves as equal partners, majority of them never even think about proposing to their man, -says Jarrett

The society has always had different views on the matter, that even if you feel strongly enough about your partner saying yes to the proposal there is that voice that says “what will people think” but have you ever asked yourself if it’s about other people or you and your partner?

One Facebook user shared her views on the matter:

According to different views people have about the stigma of women proposing to men, even though the stereotypical norms don’t apply are:

  1. Some men are scared of females who have strong wheel power and sometimes think they can easily take their masculinity.
  2. Some women cannot take rejection well and don’t want to be humiliated if the answer is no.
  3. The society might view you as cheap and desperate.
  4. If you as a female are the one who proposes, how will you address the issue of lobola for those who follow this marriage process?

However, according to relationship expert Cherisse Cooke, at Hello Magazine there are psychological benefits to a woman proposing, having exaptation’s for a man to propose is hugely outdated, but it’s also compromising to women, and it would be both socially and psychologically beneficial for these imbalanced norms to shift.

“It could be very fruitful for a couple if the woman was to propose, as it would allow for equal ownership of the future of the relationship. Sometimes it can create a tricky power dynamic when one half of a couple is waiting for the other to propose.” -says Cooke

Also see: Should men be the only ones to spoil their women on Valentine’s day?

 

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