Photo of Ncumisa Lerato Kunana

Things to not say to relatives you have not seen in a while

The holiday season is often an opportunity to spend time with family, particularly distant relatives. However,  it can get awkward. Holiday gatherings are notorious for being a breeding ground for awkward conversations, petty disagreements, and festering family conflicts that resurface. We usually aren’t aware of what the other personal went through during the year so its best to not be invasive when trying to make conversation. We have made list of thing to not say or ask your relatives about this holiday season unless they specifically speak to you about it.

1.  When are you getting married, having children or graduating college? 

While it may be coming from a good place, it may come across as condescending unless you know this person on a more personal level.
We may never fully understand someone’s situation, and asking a simple question in front of a large group of family members at a dinner table may make them feel awkward, shamed, or judged.

2. You’re gaining a lot of weight, you should start excercising 

This is flat out body shaming and is extremely painful and there is no excuse for it. People gain weight for an array of reasons and do not have to explain themselves to anyone. Someone else’s weight is not a conversation starter.

3. Pointing out their self-harm marks 

People struggle and sometimes their struggles are on their bodies, its insensitive to point out their scars and this might trigger them. Compliment their beautiful smile instead.

4. Making remarks about their acne

People who suffer from acne are well aware of it and don’t want someone else telling them that they have acne. Try not to offer product recommendations or unsolicited advice. They probably have products they are currently using and have tried others before.

5. Plate police 

Do not police how much food someone has on their plate, what they are dishing up and what they aren’t.

Rule of thumb, If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Enjoy the food.

Also see: Easy to make desserts

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